A 23-year-old Reddit user recently found herself in a heated argument with her 20-year-old partner of two months over his repeated insistence that she buy a TV for her apartment. The user, who prefers a minimalist lifestyle and doesn’t feel the need for a television, grew increasingly frustrated as her partner’s persistence seemed more about his own preferences than hers.
Despite explaining her perspective multiple times, tensions boiled over, and she eventually snapped, cursing at him and suggesting he buy the TV himself if it mattered so much to him. Now, she’s left questioning whether her reaction was justified or if his behavior crossed a line. For the full story and to see how the situation unfolded, check out the original post below.
AITA for cursing at my partner for pressuring me to buy a TV?
I(23F) started dating this guy(20M) a few months ago(it’s been two months since we became official) and things have been going really well. This is not a bf diss track. We usually hang out at my place since he lives with his parents, and he noticed that I don’t own a tv and finds it weird. Now I’ve been living by myself for years and I’ve never owned one simply because I never felt like I needed one.
Everything I like to do in my free time, I can do it on my laptop. My parents own a tv but I never ever use theirs when I visit them. It’s just not my thing. I have one bed, one couch, and one beanbag(he bought it for me) in my apt and that’s it. No chair, no additional lights(I use candles), no tv or gadgets, no thank you.
He’s been suggesting me to buy a TV for a while saying that it’ll be nice to be able to watch something and have something to talk about. He’s a gamer and said he could bring his game consoles so we can play some video games together. He said that people would find it odd that I don’t own a tv if I invite them over since everyone owns one. I don’t agree with any of the points he made.
We can watch shows on my laptop(a bigger screen would be better, that’s what he said, I think not), the video game thing, that’s mainly what he wants to do as I’m not a gamer myself. The last point, I find it most outrageous, because, who cares what others think? I don’t even like to invite people over in general and if I do and if they have issues with me not owning a tv they can pack and leave. It’s my apt, I have no obligation to cater to anybody else besides me.
I’ve made it clear to him that I’m not getting a tv and he keeps being persistent. And one day when I had enough of him pressuring me to buy something I don’t want, I cursed at him. I told him that he’s being a f**king a**hole and if he wants a tv in my apt that much he can buy me one and set that up all by himself.
He has a tendency to be bossy or gives me lots of advice and it usually doesn’t bother me and I even appreciate it sometimes(I can be spacey and reckless) because I know that he means well. But some of the suggestions he makes, I find it off putting like this tv thing or him telling me to buy more utensils(I have one pair of fork and knife, no spoon, I eat out 5-6 days of the week)
He seemed really hurt when I cursed him out, and now I feel like maybe I could’ve been less mean. He comes over to my apt about once a week if any of y’all are curious.
Check out what others had to say to the OP:
ESH. Him: He shouldn’t boss you around. You: You’re so far into single life that your life is entirely counter to being in a relationship. This isn’t about a TV or utensils – it’s about the fact you have literally no room in your life (or your apartment) for someone else.
But you’re inviting someone into your life, and it sounds like you’ve been inviting your boyfriend to your apartment.How is he supposed to even eat there if you only have one fork and one knife? You rejecting getting even basics such as an additional knife and fork for guests tells him that you don’t want to include him in your life. The TV is along the same vein: he’s looking for something to do with you as a couple in your apartment besides just s**.
Ok so besides the one set of utensils, no one finds it weird that her primary source of light is candles?? How can she see when she’s churning butter?
I might get downvoted, but ESH. He sucks for insisting on the tv, and he can buy one on his own. But you might like your super-minimalist life, but if your bf is going to be staying at your apartment, you need to get more than one pair of fork and knife, and probably SOME furniture.
Otherwise, this relationship can go nowhere. Is he going to come over and share that single fork and knife with you? Going to sit on your beanbag? Just break up if no compromises can be made to your uber-single lifestyle.
YTA. Girl what? You have a fork and a knife, a couch, a bean bag, and a bed in your apartment. What else is there to do besides have s**? He clearly wants to do more than that and you just don’t have room in your heart to care about anyone else it seems. You don’t care about the comfort of someone *you* are inviting over, that’s just rude. If you want to continue living like you’re single, stay single.
I am saying this as someone who has not owned a TV for nine years and hardly notices anymore: his hints to buy a TV / spare fork are him saying “I am *not* happy to do nothing but cuddle/have s**, I would like to occasionally eat something and not use be stuck using my fingers while watching you eat with your Worth-only Fork”
Right now you’re not set up to share your life. That’s fine. But you’re missing the giant neon sign where he is asking if you’d consider sharing (parts of) your life, like cooking, eating, entertainment, in the way that partners do—and you’re *so* unaware of what he’s saying that you see it as an Attack on Your Lifestyle and not “I feel like you don’t care whether I’m here or not”
Just saying, **if I was with someone and said “I feel like you don’t care whether I’m here or not”, and they said “f**k you, that’s an Attack On My Lifestyle” I would consider that a pretty clear statement about where they see the relationship going, and I would get gone**
About the TV thing, yeah, he’s incorrect and pushy, but his sucky focus on that is so massively outweighed by you here that I gotta go with YTA. (Also, wow, candles cost way more than electricity and give less/dimmer light, you are giving yourself expensive eyestrain—though I guess it’ll just be another way you’re blind to things, good luck)
INFO – is your place just quite empty? When I lived by myself I still had enough dishes and silverware to accommodate the number of guests I anticipated hosting. with him spending time in your apartment, you actually do “host people” … he is people. I do think his fixation on you getting a tv is annoying and I relied on my laptop when I was single too, but your one knife and one fork just makes me wonder if he’s used to creature comforts and you are an extreme minimalist?
ESH. You have one silverware set? You sound terminally single. A TV is for company. You have company. Jesus f**king Christ.
YTA. Your lifestyle is not conducive to dating. You need utensils. This is a dumb hill to die on.
TVs are not a requirement, but I do wonder at the reference to only having one knife and fork? Given you spend a lot of time at your place together, that feels like it could feel very unwelcoming?
Do you think the user was justified in her frustration and reaction, or should she have handled her partner’s suggestions more calmly? How would you balance personal boundaries and compromises in a new relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
How to Respect Boundaries and Foster Understanding in Relationships
Relationships thrive on mutual respect, understanding, and clear communication. However, it’s not uncommon for partners to have different preferences or lifestyles that can lead to misunderstandings. Navigating these differences with empathy and patience is essential for building a strong and lasting bond.
In this article, we’ll explore how respecting boundaries and fostering understanding can improve your relationships and help you connect on a deeper level.
1. Understanding Individual Preferences
Everyone has their own unique lifestyle, habits, and priorities. Recognizing and appreciating these differences is the first step toward building a harmonious relationship.
- Celebrate Individuality: Your partner’s choices, like how they organize their living space or spend their free time, reflect their personality and values.
- Avoid Comparisons: Instead of comparing your partner’s lifestyle to societal norms or your own habits, focus on what makes them happy and comfortable.
- Ask Questions: If you don’t understand a particular preference, ask about it in a non-judgmental way to gain clarity.
2. The Power of Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries are not about keeping people out; they’re about creating a safe space where both partners feel respected and valued.
- Listen and Respect: If your partner expresses discomfort or disinterest in certain suggestions, honor their decision.
- Communicate Your Needs: Share your thoughts and preferences without imposing them on your partner. Collaborative discussions can lead to compromises that work for both of you.
- Avoid Pressuring: Respect your partner’s autonomy and avoid pressuring them into decisions that don’t align with their values or desires.
3. Healthy Ways to Handle Disagreements
Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. The key is to address them constructively without letting emotions take over.
- Stay Calm: Avoid reacting impulsively during disagreements. Take a moment to collect your thoughts before responding.
- Use “I” Statements: Express your feelings without placing blame. For example, “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always…”
- Apologize When Needed: If you realize you’ve overreacted or hurt your partner’s feelings, offer a sincere apology to repair the connection.
4. Supporting Each Other’s Growth
In a healthy relationship, partners encourage each other’s personal growth and independence.
- Find Middle Ground: If one partner enjoys gaming or watching TV and the other doesn’t, explore ways to balance these preferences without imposing on each other.
- Share New Experiences: While it’s important to respect individual preferences, trying out your partner’s hobbies occasionally can foster connection.
- Encourage Self-Expression: Allow your partner to express themselves freely, even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone to understand their perspective.
Final Thoughts
Strong relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and open communication. By respecting boundaries and celebrating differences, you can create a partnership that feels supportive and fulfilling for both individuals.
Remember, disagreements don’t have to divide you—they can be opportunities to learn more about each other and strengthen your bond. Embrace the journey of navigating your differences, and your relationship will thrive in unexpected and beautiful ways.
