AITA for uninviting 25 family members to my wedding 6 weeks to show time?
Summary:
The OP, who meticulously planned a Halloween-themed wedding for two years, faced last-minute backlash from 25 family members, led by her mother and grandmother. They deemed the wedding “satanic” and demanded changes. When OP refused, many relatives sided with her mother and said they wouldn’t attend. OP responded by uninviting them and implementing strict guest check-in protocols. One uninvited aunt criticized OP for revoking invites, arguing that disagreement shouldn’t warrant exclusion. OP stood firm, asserting that the family had two years to voice concerns but chose to create drama just weeks before the wedding.
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AITA for uninviting 25 family members to my wedding 6 weeks to show time?
I have had this Halloween Wedding planned for two years. The venue I wanted has a wait list. All the sudden my mom and grandma decided the wedding was satanic and want me to make last minute changes.
I told my mom and grandma a firm no. Two years my family has known about this and because I have told them know half my mom’s side thought they would be cute and say they aren’t coming in a random ass power struggle.
I told them fine and canceled everyone invitations who complained or backed my mom or grandma on this. One of my sisters acted like she stepped out of brides maid duty so I replaced her. It was about 25 people that decided to act stupid at less than 6 week mark so I sent out uninvited invitation and I sent out new QR codes for those attending and the venue will check in by only those to let people in.
My aunt (who was one of the uninvited) told me people are allowed to disagree with me and that doesn’t mean can pull an invitation from a wedding that they have made plans to attend.
I told my aunt they had two years for complaints but saying you are not going at 6 weeks before my wedding is bullshit and everyone f****d around and found out I will not be bullied by my family over this.
Let’s explore how Reddit reacted:
NTA. Sounds like a blast. Which bride are you dressing as?
Reddit user
NTA
saying you are not going at 6 weeks before my wedding is bullshit and everyone f****d around and found out I will not be bullied by my family over this.
F**k, yeah.
Reddit user
OP’s spine grew 3 sizes that day.
Tell your aunt that you only want people at your wedding who fully support you and your new spouse.
NTA
Reddit user
NTA. Mom and gma decided to intentionally blow up your wedding. Then they rallied their little army to put pressure on you. I would wager a bet this isn’t the first time you’ve had a run-in with them over them trying to control your life
Reddit user
NTA, They already said they’re not coming, so why are they complaining now?
Reddit user
NTA saw in the comments you’re having a corpse bride wedding. That’s so sweet and endearing I don’t care about anyone’s beliefs anyone who can’t just let someone enjoy their damn corpse bride wedding shouldn’t be at the corpse bride wedding!
Reddit user
NTA. Finally someone who doesn’t take shit and will go scorched earth for their beliefs. If only more people were like you instead of the doormats in this world.
Reddit user
They are allowed to disagree with you. From the comfort of their own homes.
Telling someone their wedding 1) is satanic, and 2) needs to change is not “disagreement.” It is a request that you alter your wedding to suit them, and you are perfectly within your rights to decline to spend your day with people judging you that hard.
Have a great time with the guests who aren’t jerks.
NTA
Reddit user
NTA and congrats on having a lovely shiny spine
Your wedding so your choices of decor, venue etc.
Anyone who wants to pull these kinds of shenanigans with 6 weeks til the Big Event after having had 2 whole years (total of about 104 weeks) to do this are bullies of the worst kind and you don’t need people like that in your life.
Halloween is based on Samhain, a celebration of the beloved dead. But way back when, the christian missionaries converted it (after being given strict instructions to do so by the Pope) to get more people to convert from paganism. There is nothing satanic about Halloween/Samhain or about haunted buildings so your mum and grandma are woefully mis-/un-educated on this.
Reddit user
Wedding Boundaries: When Family Pushback Crosses the Line
Planning a wedding is no small feat, and for OP, a Halloween-themed wedding represented years of preparation, creativity, and personal significance. Unfortunately, as often happens in family dynamics, her vision was met with unexpected resistance—leading to a dramatic fallout just six weeks before the big day.
1. Weddings as Personal Milestones
A wedding is a celebration of the couple’s love and values. For OP, a Halloween-themed wedding reflected her personality and preferences, and she shared her plans openly for two years. The idea that relatives would wait until the eleventh hour to express their disapproval feels less like genuine concern and more like an attempt to undermine OP’s choices.
While family members are entitled to their opinions, weddings are not democracy-driven events. They are deeply personal, and unsolicited critiques—especially last-minute ones—can create unnecessary stress for the couple.
2. The Power of Boundaries
OP’s response to uninvite those who criticized her wedding demonstrates a commendable commitment to setting boundaries. Weddings are often rife with power struggles, with family members attempting to assert influence over everything from the guest list to the theme. OP’s refusal to cave to her family’s demands sends a clear message: respect her decisions, or don’t participate.
3. “F* Around and Find Out” Syndrome**
The family’s decision to voice complaints at such a late stage comes across as a power play. When OP refused to give in, some relatives attempted to strong-arm her by declaring they wouldn’t attend. OP’s reaction—rescinding their invitations entirely—was a justified move to maintain control over her wedding and avoid further disruptions.
Her aunt’s argument that “disagreeing doesn’t mean you lose your invite” misses the point. This wasn’t a simple disagreement; it was an orchestrated effort to guilt OP into abandoning her vision. Invites are a privilege, not an obligation, and OP was well within her rights to revoke them when faced with disrespect.
4. Practical Solutions for Unwanted Drama
OP’s decision to implement QR codes and a guest check-in system is a stroke of genius. It ensures that only those who genuinely support her and her fiancé can participate, minimizing the risk of gate-crashing or additional conflicts on the wedding day.
For couples facing similar family drama, clear communication and firm boundaries are essential. Here’s how to handle such situations:
- Set Expectations Early: Communicate your vision and boundaries long before the wedding to minimize surprises.
- Address Drama Directly: If someone takes issue, have a direct conversation to understand their concerns—but don’t feel obligated to make changes.
- Limit Access: Tools like QR codes or guest lists ensure that only invited guests attend, keeping the focus on celebration rather than conflict.
5. Conclusion
OP is not the a-hole for uninviting family members who disrespected her decisions and caused unnecessary drama. Weddings are about celebrating love and commitment—not pandering to relatives’ power plays or catering to unfounded objections.
By standing her ground, OP is ensuring her wedding will be filled with supportive, loving guests who respect her choices, which is exactly how it should be. For anyone else grappling with family pushback, OP’s story serves as a powerful reminder: it’s your day—own it unapologetically.
