AITA for telling my mom it wasn’t cute or funny to dress me as a hot dog instead of a princess?
Summary:
The OP (20F) shared her frustration with her mother (57F) for recounting a childhood story about OP supposedly wanting to dress as a hot dog for Halloween when, in reality, her mother had forced the costume on her against her wishes. OP clarified the truth, explaining it was a humiliating experience, especially since she had wanted to be Snow White. Her candid response upset her mother, who later cried after reminiscing about that Halloween. OP feels conflicted but justified in expressing her feelings.
👇 Read the original story below for all the details! 👇
AITA for telling my mom it wasn’t cute or funny to dress me as a hot dog instead of a princess?
So there’s this new Target commercial going around where a little girl dresses as a hot dog, and it came on while my family was watching a scary movie. I (20F) am home from college for the weekend and brought my boyfriend, and my mother (57F) decided it would be hilarious to mention that she’d made me a hot dog costume as a kid, except the way she told the story, it was my request. She said that all the girls wanted to be Disney princesses, but I had asked to be a hot dog, and so she’d gone out of her way to make me that costume.
This is not what happened, and I said as much. What actually happened is that I wanted to be Snow White, and had told everyone, including the teachers, that I was going to be Snow White. I was obsessed with that movie as a kid, to the point where I would actually get invested in doing chores because I was cleaning up just like Snow White. My dad and I would watch that movie all the time, and I was very excited to be Snow White for Halloween, especially because my ballet studio was doing a special “princess dance,” for Halloween and we’d all signed up for special princess slots, and I’d shown up early with my dad the week before so I could get to be Snow White.
My mother decided that she wanted to be quirky and that Snow White was a bad role model after I got in trouble for trying to cook dinner for my family. I was about eight, and I tried to make hot dogs, like how she made food for the dwarves in the movie, and I made a mess. My mom “surprised” me on the day of with this crappy hot dog suit, and told me if I didn’t wear it she’d never let me watch Snow White again. She took a million pictures, the other girls teased me for months, and it was one of the most humiliating moments of my childhood.
I told the real story, and mentioned that I got through the day by pretending that she was the evil queen making me dress in rags, but the rags happened to be a garbage meat costume. She got really quiet after that, and after we left, my brother says she was crying and looking at the pictures from that Halloween. I didn’t want to make my mom cry, but it’s a shitty memory for me and it felt like she was trying to humiliate me all over again in front of my boyfriend.
TL;DR: I called my mom out for forcing me to be a hot dog for Halloween and humiliating me as a child after she brought up the story pretending I’d wanted to be. AITA?
Let’s explore how Reddit reacted:
NTA Wow, what a shit move by your mom and to an eight year old. I’m glad you told the truth and stood up for yourself. I hope she learns, jeez what a witch. I’m sorry that happened.
Reddit user
NTA.
She clearly had a different perspective and you set her straight. Just because someone cries doesn’t mean they’re the victim in this. Especially if the truth is that not only did you not want to wear the hot dog, but she threatened your favorite movie as a result? Wear this or else? Like W**F. If this is true, it’s pretty weird and messed up. I’d never force a costume on my child. That’s such a weird ass thing to do.
Reddit user
Your mom sounds like a real Weiner
Reddit user
My mum made me dress as a clown I am scared of clowns
She also didn’t explain how the costume came off and I publicly peed myself
Reddit user
NTA
It was her choice to bring up the anecdote and lie about it.
Reddit user
I’d say let it go, but that would be so hypocritical of me. So instead, make peace with your hot dog costume, but remember your mom for white washing the memory. My mom has a version of my childhood that did not happen. AT all. In my mom’s version, it was all snowflakes, hugs, puppies, and unicorns and that is not the reality I lived. I’ve since let it go as to that’s what she needs to remember and that’s ok. It’s not reality, but it’s ok that she wants to remember it that way. It doesn’t change what really happened and if she needs to remember it that way, that’s fine. I don’t let it impact me.
That said, I do get the absolute outrage for “that’s fucking not what happened”. I just shrug and let it go because I decided I don’t care.
Reddit user
Parents can be casually cruel without realizing it, particularly when they think they’re being cute or quirky. She probably didn’t know how badly she was hurting you at the time, but she absolutely did know that she was overriding your desires using parental force majeure.
Jokes between adults shouldn’t be made at your kids’ expense, but often they are. This is a prime example. Your mom was looking for approval from other moms and made you the butt.
NTA, OP, but keep this lesson in mind with your own kids.
Reddit user
Wasn’t this a meme a few years ago? I have a distinct memory of a little girl dressed up in a hot dog costume while all the other girls were princesses. It said something to the effect of “In a world full of Disney Princesses, be a hot dog” or something like that.
Reddit user
Absolutely NTA. I had a narcissistic and verbally abusive mother that was an absolute mind fuck to be raised by. Everything horrible and traumatic she said and did to us she either flat out denies ever happened, or she has some delusional spin on. I refuse to play her game, and just “not make waves” and call her out on it every time.
Reddit user
Childhood Embarrassment: When Nostalgia Collides with Reality
Halloween is a cherished memory for many—a time of fun costumes, creativity, and excitement. But what happens when those nostalgic moments are tied to embarrassment or hurt feelings? This is the story of OP, who stood up to her mother for rewriting a painful childhood memory into a humorous anecdote.
1. The Weight of Childhood Memories
For many children, Halloween is more than candy and costumes; it’s an opportunity for self-expression. OP’s desire to be Snow White wasn’t just about a dress—it symbolized her love for the character and the sense of magic it brought her. By forcing a hot dog costume on her, OP’s mother dismissed her feelings and inadvertently caused humiliation that lingered well into adulthood.
Childhood memories have a lasting impact. Positive experiences can bolster confidence and joy, while negative ones, especially those involving public embarrassment, can lead to feelings of resentment or insecurity.
2. Rewriting the Narrative
OP’s mother chose to retell the story as if OP had requested the hot dog costume, perhaps to make herself feel better or to make the story more amusing for others. This act of rewriting not only invalidated OP’s feelings but also re-triggered the embarrassment she had worked to move past.
While parents may sometimes view their decisions through a humorous lens years later, it’s essential to recognize that children’s experiences are valid and shouldn’t be minimized for the sake of nostalgia or comedy.
3. Why OP’s Reaction Was Justified
When her mother brought up the story, OP felt her embarrassment was being revived in front of her boyfriend—a boundary violation that warranted a response. By clarifying the truth, OP not only defended her childhood self but also reclaimed agency over the narrative.
Although her honesty upset her mother, it was an important step in addressing a memory that clearly still affected her. Communication about past grievances can be uncomfortable, but it often leads to growth and understanding.
4. Navigating Hurt Feelings
It’s natural for OP’s mother to feel hurt upon realizing how her decision affected her daughter. However, this moment could serve as an opportunity for reflection and growth. Instead of focusing on her own feelings of guilt, she might use this as a chance to apologize and acknowledge OP’s perspective.
Similarly, OP can empathize with her mother’s feelings without minimizing her own experience. A conversation about the memory could help both parties move forward and foster a deeper understanding of each other.
5. Lessons for Parents and Children Alike
This story highlights the importance of respecting a child’s autonomy, even in seemingly trivial matters like Halloween costumes. What may feel minor to an adult can hold significant meaning for a child.
For adult children, it’s equally important to communicate feelings about past hurts, even if those conversations are difficult. Honest dialogue can pave the way for healing and stronger relationships.
Conclusion
OP is not the a-hole for calling out her mother’s revisionist retelling of a painful childhood memory. Her honesty, though uncomfortable in the moment, shed light on the lasting impact of dismissing a child’s desires and feelings.
Moving forward, a heartfelt conversation between OP and her mother could help them find closure and strengthen their bond. After all, growth often begins with difficult but necessary truths.
