AITAH for what I said? my family won’t let me share any good news because of my sister’s disability

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AITAH for what I said? my family won’t let me share any good news because of my sister’s disability

I 26F have an older sister 32F who had a tragic accident three years ago that left her paralyzed from the waist down. It’s been rough for everyone but especially for her ofc. Our family rallied around her. Helping out as much as we can and I’ve been there every step of the way because I love her so much. But since the accident. it feels like I don’t deserve to have any good things happen to me or at least I’m not allowed to talk about them. Every time something positive happens in my life I get shut down by my family. When I got a promotion at work last year I was so happy and excited to tell them. I thought my family would be happy for me but when I tried to share the news. My mom pulled me aside and told me to not now because my sister had a tough day. I ended up keeping it to myself.

8 months ago my boyfriend proposed. When I told them. My mom immediately changed the subject later telling me that my sister was feeling down about her own marriage struggles. It’s like anything good in my life is an offense to my sister’s situation.

This happened a few days ago. I’ve been saving up for years to buy my first new car. I finally managed to do it and I was so excited. I thought my family would be happy for me. So I decide to tell them. As soon as the words were out of my mouth the room went dead silent. My mom whispered to me “This isn’t the time. think about your sister” My sister looked so sad and I instantly felt like the worst person in the world.

I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I said “Can’t I share anything good in my life. I thought you’d all be happy for me” no one knew what to say and I left the house. I’ve never done that before. Now I’m filled with regret and confusion. I love my sister and I never want to hurt her but it feels like I’m not allowed to have anything good happen to me. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time. I understand my sister’s life has changed drastically and I’m genuinely supportive and have always been there for her. But sometimes I just want to be able to share my own life too. I feel so guilty for even feeling this way like I’m being selfish or inconsiderate.

Her husband and even my parents share things about their lives freely and no one seems to mind. But as the younger sister I’m not allowed to share anything good in front of her so I don’t hurt her feelings. I get it. I really do. I understand she’s going through a lot and I don’t want to add to her pain. But it feels like I’m not allowed to have any joy in my life around my family.

Now I know I owe my sister an apology for how I reacted. I never want to make her feel sad but I’m struggling with how to approach my family. I don’t feel like I should apologize to them. And honestly I don’t think I’ll be sharing anything with them in the future.